I'm assuming that you are the sole name on the lease and shares for your cooperative apartment. If so, you should politely but firmly stand your ground. Do not consent to a background check or any related fees. The only money you should have to pay is a move-in fee, if your fiancé is moving in furniture or similar goods. Send a certified letter (return receipt requested) to the managing agent with a cc: to the board president. It should say something along these lines:

"I was very surprised to receive your request for a background check on my fiancé. I was also taken aback by the implication that board approval is required for him to move in. To be absolutely clear, my fiancé is not applying to have his name added to the proprietary lease. He will be moving in under the terms of NY Real Property Law Section 235-f (the "Roommate Law"). This requires only that "The tenant shall inform the landlord of the name of any occupant within thirty days following the commencement of occupancy by such person or within thirty days following a request by the landlord." With this letter, I am complying with that requirement by letting you know that his name is Joe Fiancé. I understand that this may be a simple misunderstanding on your part, but I must insist that you make no further demands for background checks (and associated fees), and that you refrain from further claims that board approval is required for this move-in. Naturally we will pay the standard move-in fee charged to anyone moving into the building, but we will not provide any additional fees or paperwork, as those are clearly barred by the Roommate Law. Please consult your attorney if you have any questions."

To stress: I am not a lawyer and this is not intended as legal advice. It's simply the letter I'd send myself if I were in this situation.

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Thank you so much for your thoughts. They are greatly appreciated.

> Join the conversation Comments (2)

When you say "you are in a coop". What does that mean? Do you own the coop or rent the coop?

If you own yes you are protected under the "roommate law". However, as a board member that means you are "splitting" the "rent" and costs with your "roommate"

A finance is an imaginary term. There is no legal rights. Sometimes boards are worry you are going to run a rooming house or the AKA "roommate" is not a roommate at all. But a sublease at a mark-up.

It is a fine line. We had a women in my building who had a "roommate"., but it turns out she had the ad still up for more "roomates". She claimed it was going to be one but our lawyer made her take down her ads to prove it.

Additionally, she has no mortgage. Maint is low in my building. She was bragging that the "roommate" was going to cover all her costs and she was living free.

In the end we let her keep one roommate, sign and agreement she would keep it to one. We also let her slide on her living free.

Personally I owned a coop and two weeks before my wedding date my finance moved in. But I knew a girl on the board, she chatted with me and knew I was engaged and she knew my wedding date so I felt no obligation to tell the board anything. A wife is not a sublease.

Now as a board member I would not want to know at all what you are doing. But if you sent me an application. I guess unless this is a real engagement. I mean ring on finger and you are giving me a wedding date. I guess I want to know more details. I would rather not know nothing at all.

And remember he is a "second class citizen" in your building. Cant vote at a board meeting or even attend a board meeting. And causes a second set of issues to board, Unmarried room-mates who date are usually trouble for landlord. If they break up, call off engagement it brings whole building and board into your personal life

> Join the conversation

When you say "you are in a coop". What does that mean? Do you own the coop or rent the coop?

If you own yes you are protected under the "roommate law". However, as a board member that means you are "splitting" the "rent" and costs with your "roommate"

A finance is an imaginary term. There is no legal rights. Sometimes boards are worry you are going to run a rooming house or the AKA "roommate" is not a roommate at all. But a sublease at a mark-up.

It is a fine line. We had a women in my building who had a "roommate"., but it turns out she had the ad still up for more "roomates". She claimed it was going to be one but our lawyer made her take down her ads to prove it.

Additionally, she has no mortgage. Maint is low in my building. She was bragging that the "roommate" was going to cover all her costs and she was living free.

In the end we let her keep one roommate, sign and agreement she would keep it to one. We also let her slide on her living free.

Personally I owned a coop and two weeks before my wedding date my finance moved in. But I knew a girl on the board, she chatted with me and knew I was engaged and she knew my wedding date so I felt no obligation to tell the board anything. A wife is not a sublease.

Now as a board member I would not want to know at all what you are doing. But if you sent me an application. I guess unless this is a real engagement. I mean ring on finger and you are giving me a wedding date. I guess I want to know more details. I would rather not know nothing at all.

And remember he is a "second class citizen" in your building. Cant vote at a board meeting or even attend a board meeting. And causes a second set of issues to board, Unmarried room-mates who date are usually trouble for landlord. If they break up, call off engagement it brings whole building and board into your personal life

> Join the conversation