The Top 10 Co-op / Condo Quotes of 2013

"The co-op admissions process is bloodlust psychodrama."

— Writer-editor Norman Schreiber, who has served multiple terms on a co-op board

"I am thrilled that such a large majority of my neighbors voted to make our building a healthier, safer, and more pleasant place to live. It feels great to know that I can sit in my living room and sleep in my bedroom with clean air again.

—Zeckendorf Towers resident Andrea York on the landslide vote by over 600 residents to ban smoking in apartments

"This welcome decision to allow federal aid for storm-damaged condos and co-ops will provide much-needed relief to the thousands of families and seniors who live in these buildings. Co-op and condo owners deserved the same relief that private homeowners received, and this decision helps accomplish that basic fairness." 

—U.S. Senator Charles E. Schumer on HUD's decision to will allow money from its Community Development Block Grants Disaster Recovery program to cover the cost of post-Sandy repairs to common areas and infrastructure. Boards, unlike co-op and condo apartment-owners themselves, are ineligible for FEMA funds.

"Unfortunately, some board presidents allow the position to go to their heads and behave as if they've acquired the rights of a medieval European monarch. … [T]he president starts to think, 'Hey, I have absolute power and I can do whatever the heck I want.'"

—Attorney Aaron Shmulewitz, head of the co-op/condo practice at Belkin Burden Wenig & Goldman

"Even though most residents can't be bothered to attend meetings, they always have time to interrupt me when I'm walking the dog. So twice a day I stop and answer questions or complaints. Every once in a blue moon I get a compliment."

—Co-op board president Matthew LaPorte of the Doric Apartments in Union City, N.J.

"All New York buildings are like all great ladies — this one unfortunately had an ugly a**hole."

— Comedienne and condo-board president Joan Rivers on her building's court victory over socialite Elizabeth Hazan, who owes more $200,000 in unpaid common charges. Hazan had taunted her in the press, saying "Her problem with me is that I'm young, she's old, I'm beautiful, she's ugly."

"Do you own or regularly possess a gun? Do you have a gun license? If so, what type of license? Where was it issued? For what purpose do you own a gun? Have you ever been convicted of a crime, and if so, did it involve a gun?"

—Attorney David Ostwald, a senior litigator at Schechter & Brucker, in the wake of the Newtown gun massacre, on questions boards should ask at admission interviews

"Instead of people breaking into an office at night, you have people hacking into computers or surveillance systems."

— Warren Schreiber, president of Bay Terrace Cooperative Section 1 in Queens, and co-president of the Presidents Co-op and Condo Council, on why boards need security and privacy policies to help safeguard sensitive information.

"They probably did have sex, which would piss these people off."

—Richard Kempter, 73, shrugging off co-op board allegations that his party guests have been caught on security cameras getting frisky on the building's roof. The board of The Fontaine, 353 East 72nd Street, has filed a lawsuit over this and other alleged nuisances.

"This is not a place that screams, 'Let's get margaritas. Let's get drunk.'"

—Restaurateur Santiago Perez, responding to Community Board 1 and condo residents efforts to keep his high-end Mexican restaurant out of 39 North Moore Street. It was one of several cases of boards trying to block restaurants and convenience stores from their buildings.

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