HABITAT Holiday Special: Christmas Carols for Co-op/Condo Board Members

God Rest Ye New York Board Members

God rest ye New York board members
Let nothing you disturb.
Remember why you're living here
And not in some suburb.
You stop illegal sublets --
Board's a noun and not a verb.
O tidings of comfort and oy,
Comfort and oy,
O tidings of comfort and oy

Annual Meetingland

Doorbells ring. Let the board in.
Proxy votes, are you givin'?
I don't have the time,
The reason or rhyme:
Gonna miss the annual meet-ing

Notice came
In the springtime.
But I can't.
Hey, it's no crime.
I don't have the time,
The reason or rhyme:
Gonna miss the annual meet-ing

At the meeting others will be voting.
I'll pretend I have to be away.
They'll say don't complain if you're not showing.
But I'll insist I want to have my say!

Later on, when our fees rise,
You can bet you'll hear my cries:
"How could you do that,
You board-member rat,
'Cause I missed the annual meet-ing?"

Superintendent's Coming for You

You better watch out
You better not shirk
You better pay up
And tip those who work —
Superintendent's coming for you.

He's making a fist
Shaking it twice
Can't figure out
Which apartment has lice —
Superintendent's coming for you.

He fixes leaky faucets.
He shovels sidewalk snow.
And if the board no bonus gives
They all know where they can go!

You better do right
You better give thanks
Because he puts up
With crazies and cranks —
Superintendent's coming for you.

O Little Board of Managers

O little board of managers,
How bad we see thee lie.
Homeowners never hear the truth
Of what you have to hide.
And in thy dark hearts fester
An everlasting fog.
So tell me straight and tell me true,
Why can't I have a dog?

Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Board Prez

Rudolph the born-nosed board prez
Had an utter lack of pride.
And if you ever saw him
You would never take his side.

All of the other board folk
Used to roll their eyes and sigh,
"Give away the store to voters —
I don't want to be that guy."

But one foggy meeting night
Owners came to say,
"Board prez with your nose so brown,
It's time you gave up your crown.

"We have to hear what we need to.
Popularity be damned.
Rudolph the born-nosed board prez,
We realize that we've been scammed!"

For more, see our Site Map or join our Archive >>