LOCAL LAW 48: THE CREEPING HORROR

Yet at 10 a.m. on Saturday, May 20, 2006, Department of Buildings Inspector Patel Satish noted the site's lack of an "after-hour" permit. The contractor and the co-op dutifully accepted his stop-work order and moved to cure the violation. Yet the gods and demons alike did, it seems, did conspire against them.

Scoff if you will; I have seen the results of their attempts at remedy firsthand, with my own tortured eyes. There, on the DOB's online "Buildings Information System" (BIS), two years later almost to the day, it is plain for all to view — ringed in red, the hideous phrase, "A Stop-Work Order Exists on This Property."

Curiosity compelled me, and with trembling fingers I clicked on those words. Yet what I found filled me not with dread but with surprise and a sense of cosmic justice. For there, on the Environmental Control Board "Overview for Complaint" page, was the solitary word "Resolved."

I clicked further for details. "Hearing Status: Cured." "Amount Imposed: $0.00." "Amount Paid: $0.00." "Compl[etion] Status: C — Cure Accepted."

And more! My friend T. had shown me a hard-copy letter! Nicole Hudson of the DOB's Administrative Enforcement Unit had written on July 3, 2006, "Your Certificate of Correction for the above Notice of Violation has been received and approved by this department. … Since your Certificate of Correction has been approved, you do not need to appear at the hearing or pay any fines."

Virtue rewarded? Mistake forgiven? My friend, one would imagine so. Yet as if my mind were harkened back to that fateful day itself — six months before the creeping unknown would be signed into law in December 2006 — I swear I heard the sound of hollow laughter emanate from deep within the womb of the city council itself.

The Shadow Out of Time

Time passed for T. and his co-op. On a recent day, the treasurer, a Mr. K., made use of the newly upgraded BIS to ensure all was well with the property entrusted, in part, to his care. Seeing the red banner, K. grew troubled. A responsible man, he telephoned the DOB to discern the meaning this strange contradiction. He was told that the Certificate of Correction letter his co-op had received must now be hand-delivered to the DOB's Environmental Control Board.

And there his troubles began.

T. himself went as instructed to the DOB's third floor, where he was sent to the fifth floor, where he was sent to the fourth floor. There the clerk disregarded the Certificate of Correction letter, disregarded the department's own BIS, demanded payment of a $5,000 fine as the minimum imposed by Local Law 48, and became verbally abusive.

"What does 'I.M.' stand for?" T. asked when the clerk wrote those initials before his name on a document.

"What does it matter to you?" the clerk snarled.

"Does it stand for Internal Manager?" T. asked.