Subscribe for Daily Updates!
A friend (a coop board VP) called last night with an odd question, and I didn't know what to tell her. It's a bit of a long story.
Her married super is having an affair with a married SH ("Mary"). A few months ago, Mary told my friend in confidence it's been going on over a year, they're very happy, etc. My friend told her fellow board members who all just wanted to stay out of it.
A SH e-mailed the prop mgr that she saw Mary and the super exit a restaurant last weekend holding hands, kissing, etc., said this is very inappropriate, and wants to know what the coop is going to do about it.
The surprised prop mgr asked the super who denied it. My friend's board hasn't told the prop mgr they knew of this. He told the SH the coop knows nothing and the super denies it but the SH has told everyone what she saw last weekend. A few SHs even asked Mary who denied it but it's caused a building uproar (125 units). Yesterday, Mary asked my friend if she revealed what she said in confidence and my friend swore she told no one.
Mary's husband and the super's wife are very upset over this, and Mary and the super both deny to their spouses that it's true.
The prop mgr still doesn't know my friend and her board knew about this, so they're in a very awkward position now.
My friend asked me what to do but I wouldn't advise her. I think she and her board should just let rumblings die down. Btw, she said the restaurant where the SH saw Mary and the super is nowhere near their coop. As long as the super is doing his job and not causing bldg problems, this is his (and Mary's) personal business.
Anyone have any comments/suggestions? I've been on my board a long time but I've never run up against a situation like this.
Anon - I understand why you think my friend is a "vile, gossipy busybody" but she isn't. I've known her for years. She said when Mary told her about the affair with the super, she told her board because she didn't know where this might go. At the time (about 6 mos ago), they dropped it and didn't tell anyone else about it, and still haven't.
If the SH who saw Mary and the super in a compromising situation at a restaurant last weekend didn't tell everyone in the bldg about it, this wouldn't be an issue. If anyone is a loose-lipped gossip, I think it's this SH, not my friend.
I don't know anyone in that coop except my friend. I just wondered if any posters here had any ideas on what the board there should do if this doesn't die down on its own.
Stop talking about it -- and it will go away!
Sounds like two people are trying to stir a tempest in a teapot... and should mind thier own business..
Legally, the Super or SH have done nothing wrong or to harm the Building. AliceT
The Board's job is to abide by the responsibilities dictated by the governing documents. I know there is nothing in ours about this, and I doubt it exists in the docs of any other condo or coop. Stay out of it. And ask you friend to leave you out of it. Board business is time-consuming enough.
Unless moral turpitude is involved, stand down, back away and drop it.
The behavior defined may go against one’s mores, but that’s not the value that tips the scales against the superintendent.
Whoever started any of this dialogue at the co-op needs to be smacked for disturbing the peace.
Tell the rumor (nay story) mongers to go about their lives; there’s more important agenda in the world.
I agree - the board has enough to do without getting involved in personal matters. Your concern with the super is that he does his job well. Don't give life to the gossip.
Introduce yourself to other members of Board Talk! Log in below or register here.
Board Talk members who registered prior to March 9th, 2016 will need to reset their password.
I don't know about the board, but I'd say Mary's friend is a vile, gossipy busybody and no friend at all. Friends don't tell other friend's secrets.
Thank you for rating!
You have already rated this page, you can only rate it once!
Your rating has been changed, thanks for rating!
Board Talk members who registered prior to March 9th, 2016 will need to reset their password.